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Fear, Vulnerability, Anxiety: How to help yourself out

 

Fear shuts the door to abundance.  Fear has the power to shut you down and bring you to your knees.  It puts you in a place of vulnerability which feels powerless. When you feel shut down by fear you are unable to tap into your own internal place of power.  Let’s deconstruct the fear that shuts you down.

 

We have seven major energy centers in our body called chakras.  Each chakra is in alignment with a physical location on and in our body. Here is a very brief description of the seven chakras and where they are located.  Root, found at the base of your spine; Spleen or Sacral, found about 2-3 inches below the belly button; Solar Plexus, found in the upper abdomen between the bottom of your ribcage and your diaphragm; Heart; found at the level of your heart but in the center of your chest, Throat; found at your throat, Brow; found in the center of your forehead and Crown; found about two inches above the top of your head.

 

Each chakra is associated with emotions, feelings, thoughts and beliefs.  The chakra I want to focus on in relation to fear which keeps us stuck is the solar plexus chakra.  Now, fear can reside in any chakra depending on what the fear is about. If it is about life and death it may be in the root chakra.  However, when I am speaking of the disempowered self it is found in the solar plexus. Our solar plexus chakra is our power center, the place of the I AM, the place where our inner warrior lives. When our solar plexus is open and flowing we will experience feeling courageous, whole and standing solid in our own personal power. When fear moves in and the solar plexus chakra gets blocked it can begin to shut down.  And our “wholeness” can begin to feel like we are full of “holes.” When this happens we can not tap into our power and our strengths in the same way.

 

This happened to me recently.  I wound up in a fear storm. There were many factors that went into creating this storm.  This storm was made up of:  fear about making big decisions, fear that I made a mistake and fear for someone I love. 

 

Once I found myself in the middle of this storm I knew I would have to take action to get out of it. I decided to take a walk and do my best to clear my head, to get grounded, in touch with myself and to understand what was happening underneath this storm.  What was I so worried about? What I am afraid of? These were the questions I began to ask myself. I began to see that it was not just the fear that got to me but the worry about the fear.  Talk about the layering on of the emotions.  Don’t just worry Janet, and don’t just feel fear, instead why don’t you worry about the fear.

 

OMG! Can you say overwhelm? That is just the place I was in, and that place has the capacity to shut me down.  But being shut down is not a healthy place to be. The fear and worry shut me down to the place of full on anxiety.   I felt that anxiety in my solar plexus chakra and all of a sudden I was powerless and I physically felt like I had a big hole right in the middle of my upper abdomen.

 

Once on my walk I began to do a lot of self talk. Now that I understood I was worried about fear I began to ask myself some questions.

What was there in reality to actually be afraid of?  Fear of losing money? Well, why am I so attached to the money? Fear that a mistake was made? Well, I do not yet know there was a mistake made, why am I zapping my energy in that thought that has no basis in reality? Fear for the other person’s well being. The other person’s well being is up to them to take care of self. It is up to that person to put action steps in place to make changes, to manifest what they want. I can not do their work.  All I can do is be supportive and offer guidance when asked.

 

After this deep talk I had with myself I realized the worry about fear of money and fear of mistakes is about being vulnerable. I have learned that I can let myself be vulnerable, that is ok,  I have been learning that being vulnerable means being brave. I am very willing to be brave, to face owning decisions, to even face losing money and let my attachment to it go. I know I can call on my faith and trust  in the the universe, that it has my back all of the time and that these lessons are here for me, to teach me.

 

But what about my fear as it concerns the other?  How do I find a place for that worry. I find this one more challenging because I can not hold onto any delusion that I have control.  I have to be able to trust at even a deeper level. I have to trust the other will do their own work and the outcome will be for their highest and greatest good and trust that they will handle the outcome in a constructive way.

 

Maybe that is what I am most afraid of, how will the other handle the outcome?  Will they be able to handle it? Will they grow from this or shut down? That is my fear.  My fear is not of the outcome, though of course I want it to be positive, but my fear is how will the other cope if the outcome does not give them the desired result.  I am attached to the other person’s reaction to the outcome because I love and care for this person and do not want any harm to come to them. I also have a investment in their happiness and success not for my sense of self but for theirs.  This is the ultimate test of faith and patience and trust.

 

Do I have it in me to come back to a place of wholeness? I know I do.  What do we do to bring the self back to wholeness once we know what the holes are about? Here are are three steps you can do to bring yourself back from the emotional edge.

 

  1. Meditate.   Set the time aside for yourself to focus on your breath, be present and allow the feelings to rise up, flow through you and let them go.  During my meditation, when I was stuck in this emotional storm, I focused on my solar plexus to release the stuck energy.

  2. Talk to someone who is safe, who gets it, who can hold and honor the emotional space you are in.  Someone who will hold you without judgement. Because when we are in that place of vulnerability being judged will not feel safe and will further disempower you.

  3. Exercise. This will get in touch with your body again.  And if you can get outside to exercise in nature, even better, as this will help ground you and connect even more deeply to being present.

Doing these 3 things helps you get out of the thinking mind and back into your heart space and back to feeling whole.

 

I do not want fear to shut the door to abundance, that door is a door I want to keep wide open.  The way to do that is to remove the fear. The only way to remove the fear is to feel it, listen to it, honor it, learn from it and help it release.

 

I am honored to be a catalyst in your healing journey.  Private sessions are available.  If you have any questions, want clarification or support on your path of healing please reach out and let me know.  There are many ways to get in touch with me I look forward to connecting with you.

janet@hypnosisforhope.com

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hypnosisforhope@gmail.com

http://www.facebook.com/hypnosisforhope/

 

 

 

Courage on the roller coaster ride to healing

What we hold onto hold us back.  The story we repeatedly tell our self is the emotional bondage that keeps us trapped.  If you have trapped yourself then it is within your power to release the bond that holds you and find your way to emotional freedom. You have within you all you need to undo what holds you trapped.

 

I know that sounds simplistic to just find the way to undo it.  Finding the way is one of the most courageous things you can do.  We are afraid to look inside because we fear what we may find. That means you may have to look at your fears, stories, pain, limiting beliefs and self sabotage.  This is a process of brutal honesty and being real. There may be layers to go through and stories to reexamine in order to find the truth. There are many paths to healing.  The path to healing is always there waiting for you when you are ready.

 

Approaching it may feel a lot like approaching a roller coaster.  You get paralyzed with fear, your feet don’t move, you hate the feeling of being out of control, the feeling of your stomach dropping as the ride takes a plunge.

You are afraid to scream because what if someone hears you or even worse what if they don’t! 

You feel alone, unsupported and in uncharted territory.

 

What is the story you have told yourself about yourself when you wind up in this space?

Does it go something like this?;

 

“ I have tucked that part of me away for years,”

“If I feel those feelings then I do everything in my power to avoid them quickly,”

“I have always ignored that part of myself.”

 

Have you stood here before? Ready to face that ride and then you turn away only to find you have walked in a circle and are still lost, left to face the same fear of healing you keep turning away from.  I know that feeling. It took me a long time and a lot of therapy to get there. You see facing my healing was so scary to me. I built a huge brick wall in front of me and no one, no way, no how was it coming down.  I would stay safe above all else with my feet on the ground. The one problem with keeping that wall up is that with it up I was unable to grow.

 

You can not block one aspect of yourself from growing and blooming and then expect to grow and bloom in other areas.  Like Brené Brown speaks of, you can not numb only one feeling or part of you. When you numb one part you numb them all.  

 

We are always faced with a choice.

The choice to get on the ride called healing and move toward growth and self love.  Ride it up, see what you encounter and welcome it. Welcome the pain and because of the pain you can heal. Because the pain lights to way to our healing.  Or, you don’t get on the ride and not much changes.

It is up to you.

 

Healing is possible!

It is why I became a hypnotherapist, in addition to being a licensed clinical social worker.  I saw the healing power of the deeper mind. I personally experienced healing through hypnotherapy and deep inner work.  When you are ready to heal and ready to let go of the pain that binds you let me know. Send me an email: hypnosisforhope@gmail.com, contact me through my website @ www.hypnosisforhope.com.  Reach out in any way.   

I invite you to follow me on instagram  @janet_philbin_lcsw

Or follow me on facebook https://www.facebook.com/hypnosisforhope/

I would be honored to be a part of your healing experience.

 

Creating Stillness in a Chaotic World

Do you ever have days in your life where the outside world is chaotic, busy, loud, overwhelming and feel you just want all the noise to stop. Times when you wish you were able to chill out even though the space around you is hyped up or loud. I know this happens for me quite often. At the beginning of the summer I was away on a trip to Nashville to celebrate milestone birthdays with my close friends, as we all had turned 50.  It was during this amazing trip that I learned I was able to be still within myself even if the outside world is loud, overwhelming, over stimulating and even boring.

My first experience was at a show at the Grand Ole Opry.  I wanted to be at the Opry, to have the experience, it was a wonderful night. As we sat at the show there were some acts that did not hold my interest.  People around me were loving it and singing along. I decided I needed to be still and do a little self care, yup, right there in my seat. So I closed my eyes and began to focus on my breath and I began to experience myself, my stillness, and I began to learn I can take care of my needs in the midst of chaos.  I learned that the world can move around me and I can stay safe within myself. I have the ability within me to allow everything else to be around me but not interfere with my inner world and experience of being calm, still and in tune.

I spent about 5-7 minutes there, within myself.   It was enough time for me to come back feeling energized and more interested in the show.  As I watched the rest of the show I also watched myself. I observed my energy and engagement with what was happening around me. I felt expansive and amazing.

A night or two later I found myself at another concert.  This time at the Bridgestone Arena. A major headliner was going to play and I was so excited because I love their music and had not seen them in concert for 20 years.  Well, needless to say, when they arrived on the stage and started to play I was disappointed. I was not enjoying the show and found myself wishing for it to be over quickly.  Once again I decided to go inward and focus on my breath. Now the energy at this concert was more intense, people were louder, the music was louder, the bass was booming. I decided to create a safe place for me, even in a concert like this. I did this by focusing on my breath and extending my energy field around my body.  I imagine my heart is a huge light and imagine the light surrounding my energy field. When I do this I am able to keep myself calm, safe and the outside energy off of me. This space I have just given myself becomes my meditation space within.

When I am in the space within I can tap into the expansive energy around me.   That meditative space within allows me to tap into the creative space of self expression.  I can then hear my higher self and listen to my truth. I know when I am touching my truth because in my truth I am totally calm.  So instead of wanting the concert to end, I wanted to just stay right where I was experiencing inner stillness, being intimately connected to myself.  Again, I learned that it is up to me to create my own safe space, my own peace, my own connection to my heart space, my own inner stillness and calm even in chaos.

We are the ones who must be responsible for our own self-love and self care.  This is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Without this gift we are always seeking that which is outside of us to fill the void, numb the pain, fix what is hurting us emotionally.  The love that you seek is the love that you are. You can not be fulfilled from the outside. There is not outside love that will be greater than the love that you can find for yourself, within yourself.   We have the wisdom within. We must sit. We must quiet the mind. We must listen to the inner knowing and wisdoms which we carry inside already. You can sit to listen to yourself at anytime even in chaos.  These wisdoms were born to us. We just were never taught how to access them.

The space between the breath is expansive.  The space may feel enormous and feel safe at the same time. Your whole body has the ability to feel completely at peace. This was just what I experienced as I meditated at the Grand Ole Opry and at Bridgestone Arena. I had the experience of not wanting to come back from the wonderful place of peace I was in.  I just wanted to stay there and enjoy the floating feeling of space. When I came back I was still able to hold on to the feelings. Give yourself the opportunity to practice being still in the chaos. Close your eyes, focus on your breath, imagine your heart is a spotlight of love and imagine it can surround you.  As it does, allow yourself to be held in the space of love and compassion you create for yourself. As this is the way back home to your true self.

If you are inspired by this and are ready to begin your journey, reach out to me. Private sessions are now available. hypnosisforhope@gmail.com or on my contact page of my website www.hypnosisforhope.com and we can set up time to connect.  Follow me on Instagram @janet_philbin_lcsw. I look forward to connecting and supporting you on your journey.